October 24, 2013

People at-sea are known to do a lot of crazy things. Perhaps its because the expanse of choppy-ocean leaves you with a lot of time on your hands with no expectation of shore. Or perhaps its the longing for the shore, without any idea of when-or-how-or-if you will ever have the fortune to drag yourself off this rolling boat towards the blessed stability of land. Either way, people-adrift don't really need a reason for why-they-do-what-they-do. Sometimes, it's just a matter of going with your gut and expressing the inner-turmoil in the most sensible (or senseless for that matter) way possible. Take, for example, my just-begin facebook-purge. Under the guise of winter-cleaning (because every now and then it's important to discard some unwanted non-essentials to make room for more) I have begun what I now realize is a bit of an social-cleansing-campaign. When I initially started deleting people from my facebook friends list, it was a bit of an impulsive-unfriending. A random person who I didn't-really-know popped up on my list, and I thought "hey! why do you have a right to know anything about my life?" and I promptly removed his agency to do so. And that felt good. So I thought, lets find some more. For future reference, in case you ever want to do something similar to ease your own troubled mind, facebook has no handy (alphabetized) way of going through your friends list. There is a jumble of people on the first page, and you have to keep going down the 'and-more-and-more' until a list of close to a 1000 people feels like a never-ending obstacle. So you decide to do this organically. And you spend the last four days engaging in a sniper-attack. Actually, you do what people in once-upon-a-time-counterstrike days always hated you for. You hide in the corner with the sniper rifle and slowly pick the buggers-off one by one without really giving them a chance to sneak-up-behind-you-and-stab-you-in-the-back (because you know how the most unexpected people have a tendency to do that). But I digress. So back to my facebook-purge. You spend some time stalking your home-page and your chat bar (the long side-bar-thingy) and you pick out random-people one by one and you begin unfriending them. And if you can't really get rid of em (political reasons, social obligations, family ties what-have-you) you put them on a super-restricted-can't-see-anything-about-my-life profile and forget about them. As if they never really existed in the first place. But then you realize, that this is madness. You cannot one-by-one start chopping out every single person from your friends list. You know that this is a phased-execution-plan and it will take some time for the banished person to notice your absence from their virtual-world, but still, at some point you will need to justify why you are willy-nilly cutting people out of your digital friends-circle. So you decide to do what all smart people do when they realize they have indulged their inner insanity and need to prove to the world that there is a method to their madness. They invent one. And that is what I did. As of now, as I stalk my facebook world of way-too-many-people, I have developed a simple criterion to justify my fascist-unfriending. Anyone, say I, who I have 'never' had a meaningful conversation with in the past, and do not intend to have a meaningful conversation with in the future, is in the 'bye-bye' category. Upon reflection, you will have to agree that this does sound reasonable. And quite sane. And maybe you will realize that you need to do a little-bit-of-winter-cleaning-too. This, my loves, is precisely how madness becomes the norm. What-to-do, us people at sea, have really nothing to do you see. We wait for a shore that will probably-never-arrive, and in the meantime we amuse ourselves with our own idiocy.

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