August 30, 2013

And just when I think I must have met the most ridiculous peas in the pod, they find me someone worse. The latest candidate offered to me for exploration happened to be a medical worker nearly a decade older than me whose mother says he's not-in-a-hurry-to-get-married and would like to get to know his prospective bride for 3 or 4 years (years?) before he decides. I should also mention (because the profile has a special column for height) he is also a couple of inches shorter than I am.

I was fortunate to have an initial interview with his mother. You know, because she knows her son best and will not pass forward any lovely ladies that-a-way until they have been vetted by the matriarch. Over the course of a 30 minute monologue, said lady elaborates on the specific 'requirements' of her son in a spouse. It is most enlightening. She tells me that son is well-settled, earning good money but very busy at work. He requires a girl who does not move around very much and is happy to stay settled where-they-live. I ask her if son likes to travel (I feel like I should have some questions at the ready, since this is also my happily-ever-after that is in question) and she says well, he has not really left his home-country in a long time, and rarely leaves his home-city (because he's so busy with work and all) but he is very adventurous and loves to explore. I mention that I live in the Islamic Republic. She pauses and then asks me if I could move to the US. I tell her I 'could' certainly. She says, well if you can move to son's home-town and get-to-know-him for a few years (his specific requirements) then I would have a shot at his hand. Suffice it to say it sounds like not the most tempting of propositions. Not to mention I would probably have to resort to becoming one of the city's hobos while I waited for him to make up his mind.

I end the interview telling her that after hearing everything she said about her son, it seems as if he is looking for a girl who is settled in the USA. I inform her that the Islamic Republic is everything I could ever want in a homeland and that I don't know after this trip if I will ever get a visa again, so there is no way that I could ever be the-one for her son. I regret this opportunity more than I can ever imagine. She replies telling me that this-might-be-for-the-best, but all is not  lost. If I ever decide to move to this country, and to his home-town and son is still single (as I can imagine he may well be, at this rate) then we can certainly have this discussion again. I thank her for her time, and wish her all the best in the future.

And then I call up J and at the peak of my annoyance elaborate the details of my encounter with the dark side. She promptly tells her husband, who has now become the permanent third wheel of our relationship. He, with the practical good sense that characterizes most Americans' tells me that I need a new 'Rishti Aunty'.

I think he might be quite right.

4 comments:

Shankar K. Eham said...

aww this made me laugh.

Anonymous said...

UGH

fizzzerk said...

so basically the guy needs his mother to find him a girlfriend coz he cant get one himself. what a stupid thing to ask a woman to commit to 4 years of her live, relocating for a guy she doesnt even know and has no affection towards at all right now. i guess they believe for Akreeka every girl will be falling at their feet. Idjuts!!

The Me. said...

Ah. sympathies. The