July 11, 2013

There is something to be said for deep-rooted-sadness-of-the-soul.

Happy people, I believe, are largely incomplete. Also somewhat half-formed and vacuous. And (I think) a little irritating. You know what I mean if you are at all dark-and-twisty. Picture the average happy-person, picture the naive optimism, the unswerving belief that everything is okay with the world and that if they follow their own personal rainbow, sprinkle enough fairy dust and generally follow-the-unicorn in the right direction they will find that pot of gold standing next to their handsome prince and proceed to leap into happy-ever-after. Is it any wonder all you long to do is banish them from your sight forever?

Or until their bubble bursts and time carves lacerations into their heart that allows them to actually feel. To empathize with difference, to identify with the shunned, to walk in the footsteps of the pained. Those of us who have them, carry the scars on our heart proudly. We know, you see, that eventually when all is said and done these scars are what allow us to have more depth, more tolerance and much-more-wisdom that the happy-soul. What do the happy-ones know of life itself? Or fate, with her perilous twists and turns. For until the rose-colored-lenses are shockingly torn off your eyes, how can you see the painful, blinding beauty of reality? Without those cuts to open your bleeding heart to the world how can you reach out to any kind of person and form a connection? Even if it is sometimes a connection formed of mutual pain.

They keep telling me I should be happier. I tell them I'm happily-miserable. Someday I hope they'll understand what I mean.

7 comments:

Shankar K. Eham said...

Ah, I understand this post all too well.

The Footloose Doll said...

Thank you for writing this. I could have written it myself if I were this articulate.

Dark and twisty :) Grey's Anatomy validated my misery. I call it my sexy depression.

Anonymous said...

GET OVER YOURSELF!I HAVE NEVER MET A BLOGGER WHO COMPLAINS AS MUCH AS YOU DO. YOU ARE SO MISERABLE AND UNHAPPY AND INSECURE!

Xeb said...

:)

You may have a point. But the beautiful thing about blogging is that there is no compulsion to read my incessantly whiny posts. You should find yourself something else to read. Blogs with rainbows-and-candy-and-unicorns et al. Thank you, and good bye!

Anonymous said...

Haha!! You haven't changed at all, Zeb. Not at all!! What you don't know yourself is how CRUEL you are to people--yes I know you in person. Just MEAN. That's how I remember you. You are just some rich brat--you remind me not to become like you! Thank you, my dear!

Xeb said...

You know, if you know me in person, you should talk to me in person too. Just saying.

Anonymous said...

Xeb, don't even pay attention to some bitter person who doesn't even have the courage or decency to use their real name. Not worth your time and energy sweetheart. And there are so many people who love you!

<3,
S