February 8, 2013

It occurs to me that I left out contextual details when talking about suitor-I-don't-want. The context being, why don't I want him. So let me count the reasons (and thereby convince myself that I need to let this particular life-boat go in favor of still-wallowing-in-the-sea-of-forever-alone).

I met this gentleman (let's call him A, for convenience) about 3 years ago a few months after I moved to Islamabad. He was no stranger, his mother is a friend of my aunt's and though I had never met him before befriending him seemed fairly natural. Also, I was in a new city and looking for new friends. We went out a couple of times and his interest in me was blatant (subtlety is not his strong suit) and I was flattered. In general, he's a larger-than-life person. He's loud (to the point of being obnoxious), has decided opinions (many of whom are controversial, politically incorrect and a little asinine), is full of flash-and-fury and is convinced he is always right. Naturally, I thought he was just my type.

His attentions were encouraged, casual flirtation engaged and I was seriously considering going out with the man. A week or so into our acquaintance some mutual friends invited me to come along to a birthday party that he was going to. Instead of waxing eloquent about all the reasons why I should be coming along, he was a little uncomfortable and rather reluctantly offered to pick me up for the event. While driving there he confessed to me that the reason he hesitated was because we were bound to run into his ex-girlfriend there, and she has been known to create some drama and he didn't really want to subject me to that. I was touched (by his concern for my feelings) and generally assured him that I would be okay.

And that was the night I met the ex-gf (let's call her B), and discovered (surprise-surprise) that if she was an 'ex' she certainly didn't know about it.

And therein began a rather complicated relationship.

He explained himself (much) and asked for time in order to resolve a complicated situation (you know, where he was going out with someone but not really) and asked me to wait for him. Which I politely refused because cheating (despite unknowingly) goes against every single thing I believe in. A few months later J came along and I was temporarily off the singles market. A, was most unhappy when I entered into that relationship. He called, he blustered, he begged, he told me I was stupid (in retrospect I admit he might have been correct, but I suspected his motives were not quite pure and ignored him) and I told him I was happy to be just friends with both him and B. You know, since it's just polite to be friends with your friends' significant others.

A few months later he somehow convinced B to end an emotionally abusive relationship (he was most unpleasant to her all around) and celebrated his single status by getting engaged to a nice-young-person right here in Islo-town. Person (let's call her 'C') was pleasant enough, and a bit of a looker which (ofcourse) compensated for her not winning any awards for intellectualism. Which is fine, because I doubt A has read a book in recent history. They seemed good together, or so I thought when I went to meet them (he wanted me to meet her) at a coffee shop a week or so before I left the country for the New Year.

I met him again a week after I returned to Islamabad. Asked him how things were, he explained he was recently un-engaged. A little surprised I asked him why, and when out pours-the-whole-story and he explains that the realization struck him the evening we met at the coffee-shop. Alluding, ofcourse, that this decision has something to do with his undying affection for me. This, and other things about how I've been wasting so much time over a stupid reason (because infidelity naturally matters not) were the topic of conversation the other night (documented, in the previous blog-post).

So, Prince-amongst-men, he is not. Persistent, he is.

And that, my friends, is the story. 

6 comments:

Babar said...

Clearly, he is a sociopath. He would have made your life miserable in maximum 6 months. Avoid him like the devil.

Rakhi said...

Ask him what's the guarantee that 6 months after getting engaged to you he's not gonna meet you for coffee with a new crush (ex/current, doesn't matter) invited along as well, and then unceremoniously dump you because at that moment, he has hots for the other girl?
Man, such 'gentlemen' and their sense of entitlement, which again leads to their persistence, makes my blood boil. verily indeed.
I think you are far better off sailing the sea-of-forever-alone than being on a ship with this piece. :)

Xeb said...

B, R: :)

That said, the sea of forever-alone is a somewhat scary place to be.

M said...

It is scary. But not as scary as being stuck with a psychopath.

Please wait. I know gorgeous 35+ year olds waiting to make the right decisions (no, they're not hell bent on prince-charmings). Hopefully we wont take that long - but its better to be safe than sorry.

amnakausar said...

What an 'A' for Asshole, I must say.

Nina said...

Bahot bara loser hai yeh aadmi. You're way too awesome for him, and I don't even know you that well.