September 17, 2012

It's been 13 days (and counting) since I've been re-immersed into the bosom of my family, courtesy of my cousin's wedding. The event, which is all everyone could talk about for the better part of a year, is the first wedding of this generation (no prizes for guessing who it should-have-been-if-she-had-not-burned-all-her-bridges-and-said-no-to-everyone-who-was-interested-in-her-before-she-became-too-old-for-all-the-good-rishtas).

It's been 'interesting'. Some awesome, some horrid mixed up into the familial pot. Stir in a couple of cups of laughter, a tablespoon of turmoil, a pound (or two) of gossip (inter-generational gossip no-less), a spoonful of painful recriminations and a pinch of tears. Add in one-on-one bonding sessions (over body-treatments, sheesha, coffee or something disgustingly calorific) to taste - and you have yourself a recipe for this two-week extravaganza.

As expected, I have been asked - in different ways - why I remain persistently un-wed. From a bald-faced, 'Zainab! I haven't seen you in so long, I expected you to have found someone for yourself a long time ago' to a speculative 'So, aren't there any men in Islamabad you can marry?' to a wistful 'I hope that soon we will all be hearing good-news from your end!' the reminders come in droves.

And with them come all the uncertainties and the always-pesky-wondering, perhaps I was wrong about never-saying-yes? Perhaps I should have taken the plunge a long time ago. Perhaps what I'm waiting for was never really out there to begin with. And now, perhaps I have burned my bridges, taken an axe to my boat, refused all the life-jackets and have no one else to blame when I slowly-slowly drown. Into a sea of 'forever-alone-ness' punctuated (every so now and then) with the odd transient relationship that I always wish would mean more than it actually does.


Saad F'akhtar said...

Random Auntie: "I hope that soon we will all be hearing good-news from your end!"

Z: "Well, my period is kinda late!"


ak said... are missing out on a lot of stuff :P
one must try in order to succeed or fail.
thats life
otherwise whats there in living?

ak said...

ps i hate proving that I am not a robot whereas otherwise I am a robot everyday :)

LanternSaturdays said...

It never ends, isn't it? First its about marriage, then its about kids, then they'll find something else too.