February 1, 2012

Sometimes I have to remind myself why I used to love blogging so much. Aside from the catharsis achieved by confessing all in relative anonymity, blogging (and reading other people's blogs) gave me the opportunity to learn - and understand - more than went on in my little universe. Sometimes it gave me perspective, other time a renewed conviction. All in all it was an enriching experience. But most importantly, perhaps, it gave me an opportunity to write. To play with words in different forms, and to add my two cents to the world at large.

I've stopped doing that.

Despite a rather ambitious 2012 resolution to write more, I haven't channeled any efforts beyond work related documents. Perhaps not even that anymore, as a manager I'm fortunate to have minions to do the writing, and my task becomes more of 'strategic guidance' - which boils down to a lot of comments and track-changes to documents submitted for approval.

I know my muse has left me.

I know because I no longer feel this burning compulsion to write down what I feel, what I think, what I experience every day. It seems enough to scribble an odd facebook update or two. Read a lot of random stuff without commenting on it. Keep my opinions to myself mostly, with the odd verbal rant every now and then targeted to whoever will listen. In fact, writing has become a chore. Something I do only when I absolutely have to. When there is no minion around to pass out the paragraph to. When no one else can write it the way I can and I may as well make the effort rather than have to fix it later.

The problem is, writing was one of the few talents I had.

If I've lost this, what do I have left?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

You have Saad! You always will!

Beyond Timid said...

I can't relate to your feelings because I haven't even hit the prime of blogging. And it also depends on whether you started blogging because you wanted to or because your friends pressured you to do it.

If you don't like writing about yourself, why don't you write about ideas?

Even if you give up, you can always develop other hobbies. You sound creative, so just find a creative medium.

shahrukh said...

I agree with BT. I've always enjoyed your writing. But, if it feels like a chore maybe it's time for a break of sorts? Will miss you though.

Anonymous said...

That's not why. BT is an idiot. It's because self-conscious semi-professional " journalists" like Sana Saleem and Fifi Haroon have corrupted the blogging environment. However, if you're going to capriciously unfriend people on Facebook that doesn't help either.

How do we know said...

oh.... after thse troughs off and on, can tell u one thing - there is a need to be loved, and a need to love... likewise, writing is not an option.. its a spring within u.. u can pretend its not there, but it will sneak up and suprise u... shart laga lo :-)