November 1, 2010

For B, who needs this (and lots of love) today:


Xeb's 15-Step Formula for Recovery from Romantic Disasters

1. Find your friends. Tell them the story. Notice how it keeps getting funnier with each re-telling. Laugh

2. Go for an impromptu trip out of town with friends who make you smile. Smile.

3. Look at the sea. Promise yourself a lazy, lazy beach trip as soon as the weather improves. Plan.

4. Immerse yourself in lots of bling-bling and the unadulterated, gaudy glamor of sparkling, colorful casinos. Look at rooms, after rooms of sheer decadence. Enjoy.

5. Try your hand at roulette (the non-Russian kind). Win and realize your luck may not be as bad as you think. Reflect.

6. Buy half-a-pound of sour-sugar-candy from a store where you can make your own candy bag by digging into barrels of different sugary sweets. Experience the joys of a sugar-high as you walk along the wooden boardwalk arm-in-arm with friends you love. Feel at peace.

7. Play real poker with real people, and real money, on real tables, in a real casino, like a real gambler. Be thrilled. Lose. Realize the cliche suddenly makes sense: it's not about winning or losing, it's really all about how you play the game. Feel content.

(On a side note, realize also that virtual is usually always bogus. Without the sensory reality of 'life'in the equation, no major decisions should ever be made. Feel a little stupid.)

8. Eat greasy, cheesy, yummy french fries in freezing weather huddled in the dubious shelter of a revolving door. Feel silly.

9. Enjoy a full-body massage delivered by a professional masseuse at a body-therapy clinic. Relax.

10. Eat good, good food. Feel happy.

11. Walk across Manhattan in borrowed socks lent to you by your (now-sockless) friend because your shoes make your feet hurt, and it's too cold to go barefoot. Feel loved.

12. Be part of the audience for America's Got Talent. Realized, America really does have talent. But so do you. Feel motivated.

13. Bond, over a meal far-far overdue, with a friend. Feel positive.

14. Go shopping. Buy something beautiful, impractical and expensive to wear. Feel pampered.

15. Indulge in chocolate crepes draped in strawberries and blackberries with whipped cream on top. Feel complete.


Deepak Iyer said...

Given the calories in your plan, this also guarantees that B will never enter into another relationship [:P]

Xeb said...

*hehe* Thats fine. Men are scum. Who needs them anyway?

Deepak Iyer said...

B needs them .. coz she'll also be broke by the end of your plan .. :)

Xeb said...

Broke, but happy. And she can work and support herself (as can we all). I repeat: Who needs men!?

Deepak Iyer said...

Honestly, no one.

Xeb said...


Amrita said...



PehlaykaNataa said...

who needs men? let see...
civil engineers make buildings and bridges

our cricket team...some better looking men (not boys, as inzi puts it)

our government...needs men in place of assholes it currently has

my office..instead of the animals currently working there

men are needed in some places at least.
what say :)

Ali said...

Eat greasy, cheesy, yummy french fries in freezing weather huddled in the dubious shelter of a revolving door. Feel silly.

I'd absolutely love that.. *sigh*

Lonely Perverted Soul said...

Niceee get over list :D

Anonymous said...

It's also possible, (in one case involving a girl you know in Manhattan who likes to gamble) that he didn't realize how high the stakes were for both of them, and without his knowledge, the deck was stacked against him. He might have thought he could call her bluff and score a decisive victory, and if he were the victor and she the vanquished he could impress her and she would like him more.

Xeb said...

This girl I know in Manhattan has played many games, and has called many bluffs and has ultimately realized she hates them all. She knows now that the only thing she's looking for is someone who's not interested in impressing her with anything other than honesty, and a genuine desire to be with her. Everything else, is secondary.

Anonymous said...

Touche! Well then. Tell more.

Anonymous said...

A Pathan buys a ticket and wins the
lottery. She goes to Vegas to claim it and the man verifies her ticket number.
Our Pathan says, "I want my $20 million."The man replied,
"No, miss. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today and then you'll
get the rest spread out for the next 19 years."
Khan says, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it."
Again, the man explained that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.
Our Pathan girl, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! if you're not
going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my 1 dollar back!"

Anonymous said...

If I could see the Fatima Khan I once knew, before 4/15/2010, before she turned to the Dark side, and I had reason to believe that she would be the warm, cheerful person once again, then of course I would have "a genuine desire to be with her."
I sense there is still good in her. Behind the mask.