September 10, 2010

A perk (a huge one) of being home for Eid is being able to wake up in the morning and breakfast with mommy. No icky-oatmeal for me today, I get to enjoy Alu paratha with an omellete washed down with steaming cups of chai. If ever there is heaven-on-earth, this is it. Lazy breakfast is a time for family gossip, and as always there is a lot of it. Did-I-know, that so-and-so had a baby daughter? Apparently she favors her mother, which is good because her father isn't much to write home about. If my grandmother was here, she would undoubtedly remind me that 'this' is what happens when pretty girls wait too long: they have to settle for the ones nobody else wants. Frankly, if you asked dadi, a stupid-but-good-looking man would be infinitely preferable to an ugly one: her logic is simple, the stupid ones are easier to manage and the children of the union are pleasing to the eye, ergo it's a win-win. Perhaps that's why we don't ask dadi. Then again, the shallow-gene was passed on, and even though I-know-better I may hesitate (unless I'm old and desperate) to get shackled to Mr. Ugly. Not for selfish reasons (perish-the-thought-darlings) but one must always think of the children. Haina?

What else my colorful family been upto? The usual rounds of engagements have taken place, but one has been broken (to the greatest disappointment of the elders who were FINALLY counting on the likelihood of a great grandchild before they pop) and another one is on the rocks. Say's mommy she has finally realized that their generation of parents did everything wrong. They should have prevented us from being independent, and thinking way more than was good for us. The problem is, she rationalizes, freedom of choice is being misused here. Who told Ms. Whatchamacallit that she could decide when the nikah is to be? In her world, say's mom, girls just had to go with the collective flow. When the boys family said 'do-it', we did. Right now, with all the rocking boats it's a wonder we're all afloat. And kuch toh khandaan ki izzat ka bhi sochna chahiye! What will people say, first our kids weren't getting engaged, and now that they are, they ‘re-think' (she says it like it’s a bad a thing) and break off engagements left-right-and-center. I point out to her that I haven't been breaking any engagements-ever (*angelic-smile*), she gives me a dirty look (I can't imagine why) and sips some more tea.

Uncle Whatszisname is thinking of moving out of the motherland with his family in tow. Mommy thinks we should make an attempt at a collective move also. It's a toss-up between Canada and Australia, mommy's edging towards the former because she knows people there and life will be very dull without a social life. That said, she remembers how things got so bad some years ago when my dad and she had 'almost' made the decision to get us out of here. Then things got better, and they just stuck it out. Maybe we should stick it out. But things have 'never' gotten so bad, she ponders. And then there's this whole Qur'an burning thing. It's going to spark off something drastic. We remember, and marvel over the stupidity, of the violence that followed the infamous Danish cartoons. Not a scratch to Denmark (ofcourse) but our people died by the burned-busloads. Our vehicles, shop windows and infrastructure –in-general was shattered to smithereens. Because it makes perfect sense to take all your impotent anger out on people who had nothing to do with the crime. And Pakistani lives are cheap anyway. At the rate we reproduce, a couple of thousand people are quite dispensable. Don’t-you-think?

Speaking of people-dying, mommy has decided she wants to visit interior-Sindh and see if there's anything she can do, to help with relief work. I told her I had - and then dropped - the same ambition a while back. Immediately following the flood I volunteered myself for relief-and-rescue only to be told that they needed men (women were a security risk, apparently) with some sort of training which I did not have. Some time later they turned me down again because they needed doctors and medical students rather than us useless lay-people. At which point I decided if I was only going to end up playing disaster-tourist, I'd much rather save my time and energy for the inevitable rehabilitation phase. Atleast nobody can tell me I don't have adequate training for that. In principle, mom agrees, but she wants to go see it for herself anyway. Oh-well!

Apparently my house has decided to boycott tetra-packed milk. No Nesvita for me this trip, instead we have the doodh-wala delivered product at our disposal. I blame the idiot who sent my mother a forwarded email about how tetra-pack has significant melamine content. Melamine, if you don’t know already (because I did not) is a notorious carcinogen, which must be erased from our lives at all cost. Except I don’t understand how - in an effort to improve quality of life - one can embrace the water-y alternative that has absolutely no element of quality control. I doubt filtered paani is used to water that milk, but mommy says that boiling the milk cures all evils. I’m just-tiny-bit skeptical, but what-can-you-do?

Mommy has no bags (despite having a closet chock-full of them) and I have NO shoes (believe me, not a single joota-worth-wearing-do-I-own) so we decide to enjoy our Eid (while the world waits for theirs) with a shopping spree that we've been planning (though not executing) for a while. And mommy's making Khaoseh for lunch, and I have new clothes to wear every single day of my Karachi trip. Life, my loves, is exactly as it should be.

Except for all-around death, destruction and threat of impending disaster.

Of course.

15 comments:

ordered-chaos said...

Alo ka paratha is on top of my to-eat eid list. What's Khaoseh?

Xeb said...

It's a Burmese dish. Coconut and chicken gravy with noodles and assorted yummy stuff on top. Absolutely divine, and one of my favorite ghar-ka-khaana :)

poisson said...

khao suey is awesome! :) have you tried simple dimple khao suey palace? i've heard good things about it.

Acha i found the perfect solution for you: blogger has this new moderating comment option where you can mark certain commenters as spam. you can do that to anon-pew i suppose!

Xeb said...

Simple dimple? Seriously? :P And no, I haven't. Whereabouts is it?

Interesting option. Do I have to switch it on or something? Because if I have to moderate every single comment before it gets posted it'll be really annoying!

poisson said...

noo you dont need to switch on anything! when you log on to blogspot.com you'll see a "comments" page on your dashboard- next to edit posts.then i think you can mark any comment as spam and blogspot will automatically move msgs like that in your spam inbox. and since the person uses "pew" in every comment, it should be rather easy for blogger to detect his/her comments as spam.

and here's the link to simple dimple- http://www.facebook.com/SDKSP?v=wall&ref=ts
they only do home delivery.

poisson said...

where did my comment go? :s

Xeb said...

That's really strange! I got your comment in my mailbox though! Thanks for the tip, and the link :)

Xeb said...

How's that for irony? Your comment went into the spam category! I just rescued it. *hehe*

Ps: It's a pretty neat function. Good for blogger! :)

Lonely Perverted Soul said...

Yea that is life...

poisson said...

hahaha, i was thinking that might have happened.

yay, commenting as an anon is back!

Xeb said...

Were you one of my anon's too? Shame on you for being lazy! :P The least you can do is type in a name!

Vagabond said...

I am so interested in your life, it's not even funny. I check your blog once every two days at least, to find a post where you could quench my curiosity about all the random nitty-gritties in your life, like why have you disappeared, and why are you not writing posts lately. Your blog is so fucking gratifying.

I sometimes think your blog is glorified Saas-bhi-kabhi-bahu-thi or some shit. But what-the-fuck ever, I love knowing about your life and your breakfast discussions. Beautiful:P

falsay said...

Simpledimple's the stuff to have when no one at home will cook khaosway for you or you don't have the energy to cook. It's er.. an alternative. :)
Nothing beats home made,Gujrati style.

Xeb said...

V: I'm still trying to figure out if you're sarcastic (which would be very rude) or sincere (which would be somewhat creepy)! :P

f: Agreed! :)

Vagabond said...

Haha open for interpretation. For both the cases you mentioned, I realized, I was a bit too fervent. Hehe:P