September 29, 2010

This afternoon, a Pathan colleague came up to me and asked me if my mother could come down to Islamabad sometime early next week. I told him, it was a funny coincidence but she was actually flying down for the weekend, and I asked him why he wanted to meet her. He said he had been working on a 'project' with a client (also Pathan) and he wanted her to be part of it. Since my mom has been known to moonlight off-and-on as an enterprise trainer, I didn't think too much of it and asked him for project details out of idle curiosity. He looks as if he's wondering whether to say anything to me or not, and then he says well, it's Project 'Zainab'. I'm more than a little lost here. In response to an 'excuse me?' he says, well remember when so-and-so (the client) asked me if you were single? I don't really remember any such incident, but I nod encouragingly anyway. Well, apparently so-and-so has a nephew who happens to be in England, has good job, excellent prospects, is Pathan so is naturally good-looking (I'm not kidding, this was mentioned) and he thinks you would be a good marital candidate for nephew. At this point I'm wondering if I should be amused or amazed, I decide I'm a bit of both and ask him what all of this has to do with my mother. He looks at me as if I'm wacko and says well so-and-so is going to get the elders to Islamabad next week and they should meet my mother so they can talk about the 'future'. At this point I'm looking at him as if HE'S wacko and I'm like, but I don't even know this boy's name! He says, what's the hurry. You'll find out. I laugh, except then I look at him and I realize he's not joking here. So I ask him again, exactly what are these people wanting to meet with my mother for. He says aray baba, we're Pathan, this is how these things happen. Don't worry about it, I'll talk to your mother. I'm somewhat horrified at this point, and while trying to point out that this entire situation is a little ridiculous and nobody can have 'talks' about me marrying a strange boy I've never spoken to (no matter how many Pounds he earns per annum), I say to him 'but I'm NOT Pathan'. At which point he nods encouragingly and says to me, 'don't worry about not being Pathan, his family is willing to overlook that'. And then he walks off and I'm left wondering whether to bang my head against the wall or just drown him in the river.

Seriously, sometimes I think a healthy appreciation for the ridiculous is my only salvation! :P

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

hilarious! LOL! haha, ya never know you know. what if this is the one hon...to think of it they're willing to accept non pathan you. how awesomelicious! ;D

Anonymous said...

Hehehe, I can't stop laughing!:P It seems Pathan boy it is then Xeb!

- SH

kay-without-a-tee said...

*ouch*

Ally said...

*leaves me wondering* why do people still "arrange" marriages for their kids? I mean thats the most ridiculous thing ever. EVER. As for the pathan, tell him to find a shy naqab wali pathan girl, it would be better that way =p

Ally said...

Somethning of same sort happened to me a few days ago =p

lubz said...

lmao i only want to laugh but your situation is anything but funny lol... well xeb if its of any consolation... the boy could possibly just read your blog to find out about you, so you wouldn't be complete strangers! hehe jokes lol

Bahathoth said...

This doesn't sound as bad as some arranged marriages i've known. Plus he's just hookin yo up yo. Waz rong wid dat nigga.

Alpha Za said...

hey, atleast you're in the loop, alot of times, potential brides aren't. Hell the guy probably doesn't even know.

You never know, he may be the love of your life! hehe.

NX said...

I remember the last pathan boy, a potentially beautiful relationship cut off in its spring by a random boy in a random place...better luck this time

p.s. Did i ever mention how much i hate Alpha Za, "...he may be the love of your life!" seriously grow the fuck up you after school special.

Xeb said...

Anon: *hehe* yea. I really must appreciate their condescension when it comes to 'non-pathan' me. *sigh*

SH: No. A gora boy it will be. We have already decided this, remember? :P

Ps: I really should finish writing that post and put it up. It's been sitting in the drafts folder since sunday.

A: The way that the arranged-matchmaker's mind works is boggling. I can deal with people trying to set me up with randoms. I can deal with blind dates (painful as they may be). I can deal with emails out of the blue from a potential marital candidate. But I absolutely CANNOT deal with people talking as if my marriage to strange-boy was a foregone conclusion and all that is needed is for the elders to say aye and I sign on the dotted line. It's archaic, to say the least. And the fact that compliance is automatically assumed on my end is actually kind of funny. In a tragic kind of way. *sigh*

k: Yea. *ouch* it may be. Or not. Time will tell! :P

Xeb said...

l: I have yet to figure out what effect reading my blog will have on someone potentially interested in me. Chances are instead of getting to know me better they will choose to run far-far away from the psychotic woman! :P

B: What's wrong with that, nigga, is that he's making too many assumptions. I dislike it when people assume I shall conform, because I shall not. *bus*

A: He might, he might.

Xavier: I vaguely remember this pathan boy. But I remember the random boy, in the random place a little too close to comfort. Who knows, I may have been happier if the Pathan-and-I had continued uninterrupted. Don't you think?

And behave. We don't insult other commenters just because we're a teeny bit jealous of Pathans. Not cool, N, not cool! :P

JDèé said...

Hahaha, nice. Tell us how it goes.

Deepak Iyer said...

How did I miss this post!

So basically you said no because you're not a Pathan (or he's not whatever you are)?
That's utterly shameful ..

How do we know said...

you SHOULD let them meet your mom.. then it will be totally hilarious! Sigh! The more things change, the more they remain the same..