July 14, 2010

When we were growing up my friends kept telling me I was privileged because my family celebrated two birthdays every year. We do the Islamic one (affectionately known as the coconut birthday) and we do an English one (along with everybody else). While the latter always meant more (and was generally the tick off point for how old we were), the Islamic birthday was a family celebration where everyone got together, and made a lot of fuss over you. They also (until you got too old for these things) gave you money. All-in-all, I've always thought it was a good thing.

Except where birthdays are celebrated according to the Islamic calendar, death anniversaries are commemorated also. According to the misri calendar, today is my father's second death anniversary. And two months later, in August, will be the one that will really hit me. Tomorrow night, there's a dinner to commemorate the occasion, where people will come and offer their condolences (yet again) and talk about all the things my father once did for them. (We're still shocked by the number of things my father did for people we didn't even know). And I will stand there, a little withdrawn, a little stilted, wondering how to deal with all these people who think they can share my pain.

Two years, two seconds. The memories are still as fresh as the pain that accompanies them.

3 comments:

Thoth said...

Sorry for your loss.
Much love.

Anonymous said...

One never can get over the loss of a loved one, especially a parent. It's been 4 years since my dad passed away but it still feels as if it was only yesterday when we lost him.

May God rest the souls of our loved ones and may He give us the strength to deal with this loss.

Much love and prayers for you and your family.

drama queen said...

I can't say I know how you feel because I can't even begin to imagine the pain associated with losing a parent. I will however pray to Allah to grant you and your family strength to deal with this great loss. Take care.