July 3, 2010

What a strange topsy-turvy world this is. All my life I've always thought that - like a princess in once-upon-a-time tales - all I'd have to do would be to sort through frogs, and find prince charming at the end of my rainbow, along with a pot of gold. The idea was that prince, I and pot of gold would then live happily ever after ruling over our kingdom of frogs. Which would be fine.

In an ideal world - what ought to happen - is that I sift through the frogs one-by-one and discard them (warts and all) while I wait for charming to make an appearance. In the meantime, I have countless froggies trying to persuade me they are the one, which they are not, but I will be generous and not blame them for trying. Except suddenly, a strange reality is dawning upon me. All at once these idiot frogs have suddenly come into their own, and as of recently, the princess has begun to be spurned.

It makes no sense to me, but I promise you, it 'has' happened that the fools-who-want-to-marry-me now no longer want to marry me. It seems my worthy-ness as a princess has been extinguished by age (haww-haii, princesses don't grow older), by independence (she lives on her own, how utterly scadalous) and by education (she's got her masters from amreeka baba, very high-fi she is). So there you have it. Apparently, the frogs now want undereducated little girls who never leave the house unchaperoned. And today, a second would-be suitor actually rejected yours-truly for reasons that circled much of the above.

My world, as I knew it, is collapsing around my ears. And what-the-fuck is wrong with the stupid frogs? Don't they know the status quo? They apply, I reject. That is the appropriate order of things. This new development is 'most' disturbing. This princess is absolutely not amused.

29 comments:

Mackers said...

There is always a way. For the age problem, you can always try botox or maybe those creams made out of stem-cells. The education problem can be solved by voluntarily surrendering your degree or nicely asking justice iftikhar to declare it a fake. Also, maybe it is time to move back in with the parents. Good Luck

Anonymous said...

Cant you fall in love with a prince instead of letting frogs scrutinize you? There IS love out there. Maybe very close to you and you just dont notice. How about visiting another country for a while for finding your love?

ordered-chaos said...

Welcome to the perverse crowd I work with

kay-tee said...

Bakwas. This happened to me too. Just because I have spent a coupla years in London, means that Im an arrogant biatch and must be atleast 27+ years old(although I wasnt even 23) trying to rope in their precious gem-like sons! *pukes my greenest puke over such tawards*

P.S. Why are most Karachi-spent weekends instill a shadi related posts from u? =D

Lonely Perverted Soul said...

Oh come on.... Im sure there are frogs still out there just waiting for a slight signal from u.. :P

Alpha Za said...

hmm...perhaps you need a genetically modified frog.

Deepak Iyer said...

You do know what the problem is, right?

Xeb said...

M: I suppose you're right. Complete reversal of 10 years worth of achievements is the only solution.

Anon: There is NO love out here. I promise you! :P Only frogs, and more frogs. What other country would you suggest btw, I'm open to options...

oc: *yay* company for my misery! :P

kt: Because relatives galore have only one thing on their minds. Consequently there's only one thing on my mind. It's a vicious circle! :(

LPS: You miss the point. I don't want the frogs. I want the opportunity to reject the frogs. I refuse to live life rejected BY the frogs. What shame! :S

AZ: And where do you suggest I acquire such a frog?

D: No, enlighten me! :P

Anonymous said...

where wud saad fit in this narrative?

Lonely Perverted Soul said...

Hmm... if it would make u feel better ill be the frog that is chasing after u... u can reject me as much as u want... :)

Xeb said...

Anon: He wouldn't (oh-my-gawd-it's-a-miracle)

LPS: Thanks, but it really wouldn't make me feel any better. You may as well direct your charms elsewhere :)

Lonely Perverted Soul said...

My charms really dont work on anyone... I dont have anyone to chase after either... :P

mehreenkasana said...

It'll be okay. Soon.

Shankar said...

haha, well it goes to show that princesses get rejected too.

Deepak Iyer said...

Well, if *you* don't know it, I can't help you [:P]

Anonymous said...

Well I like Paulo Coelho's theory of "when you really want something, the whole universe conspires to make it happen". Focus more and, who knows, it may be "raining frogs" for you ;)

Also, maybe Pakistan has run out of all the good frogs (aka possible prince-charmings)? How about trying China? With a laaarge population, there are more chances of finding Prince Charming there i.e. if you're into Chinese frogs-turned-prince-charmings!

Happy searching :)

Xeb said...

LPS: Trust me, find someone who would be more grateful for the attention! :P

m: *sigh*

S: Seriously! Who-the-hell-would-have-thought? I want my goddamn money back! :P

D: You, my love, are hardly ever helpful! :P


Anon: My universe had better do some serious conspiring before I throw a royal tantrum! :P And no, I believe I would not go for Chinese-frog-princes. But it is also true that Pakistani frogs are not princes, and nor - it seems - are frogs genuine frogs. They are strange things that have begun to annoy me incredibly! :P

Mackers said...

"I suppose you're right. Complete reversal of 10 years worth of achievements is the only solution"

Exactly, frogs love the skin-deep attributes. A generous lathering of fair and lovely will also help increase the proportion.

If, however, you value those achievements more, try move on to different species.

Deepak Iyer said...

As they say ma'am, I can only take the horse to the cliff. I can't make it jump (lest it turn into a police case).

So you (,not my love, else your post would be moot) need to jump.
Jumping might also address the weight issues you mentioned the other day [:P].

Now you dare tell me I'm not helpful :)

Thoth said...

Well annon is funny at times..
lol but yo Xeb yo..diz totally ma story too yo..i've been dumped 17 times by 6 chicks yo..and i am like 20 dumpings and i am done yo..

so i iz kinda relates, cept that i am a nigga, and i don't reject people, dem soul sistaz keep rejectin me yo..n yo i am just a broken ol, poor, ugly negro..and i iz black yo...

yo into black brothaz or whities??

But srsly, yo y do u get blues cause of dem niggaz talk shit yo...

Saif said...

Ribbit?

Rabia said...

I woman once commented to my naani that she wanted a daughter in law who was very well educated (an MA at least) but was no more than 18 years old. My naani's response "so she should have studied at least 3 grades in the womb?!?!" (it was funnier in punjabi).

Btw you missed out the money part: we make more money then alot of guys. that def sends them and their mommies in the other direction for sure (cause out-earning a man is a big no-no).

Xeb said...

M: Haha, I'm on the lookout for another species. In my terminology, they call him 'charming' :P

D: Mean. Very mean. :(

Thoth: What's with the sudden fascination with our African American friends?

S: :)

R: Point. Maybe I should also give my salary away to charity every month thereby becoming destitute and therefore ripe for Mr. Man's support. (sigh)

Saif said...

Ribbit Ribbit!
Seems to me that you've yet to encounter the right type of frog; someone who acknowledges the princessness of the Princess, and embraces everything that comes with that, including more earning power.
To translate, you haven't found the guy who marches to the same drummer as you do. Chances are, he's got complaints about girls too. She's not smart enough, doesn't have a job, too homely, etc, etc.
My chief complaint? I don't have your email address :)

Xeb said...

S: Haha, what a coincidence. I don't have yours either :P

Saif said...

Well played, madame, well played!
In the interest of chivalry (despite being a frog, one MUST at least aspire to the grandeur of royalty, Princess Xeb, in this case:) ), my addy is saifuddin.jangli@gmail.com

Cheers!

Xeb said...

Saifuddin is a very bohra name. Are you a frog from that side of the world, I wonder? :P

casual xeb stalker said...

uff! must you marry a bohri man?

you cannot create a man in your mind and bring him into existence no matter how smart you are. you have to choose from the existing men.

why do you live alone? single men and women don't live alone in pakistan if their family lives in the same town

Xeb said...

cxs: No, I must not marry a bohra man, say I, except mommy would most certainly disagree.

The horror of it is, I'm beginning to suspect you're right: I cannot create a man in my mind and then marry him. What-a-pity. I suspect a Xeb-fashioned man would be quite a catch. *sigh* So over to the existing men it is, who do you propose I marry? Why don't we do this, 'you' select him (in all your wisdom), and I shall marry him. Then both of us shall be happy.

And for your other question, I'm not certain what single men and women in Pakistan do as a rule. I know what I do. And I live alone, because I like it. Thanks for asking though, when I'm done with a study of the lifestyle of single men and women in Pakistan according to social norms of this (and previous) generations, I shall get back to you with an analysis of exactly how much of a deviant I am and what (undoubtedly awful) incidences from my childhood contributed to this deviancy.

Till then, keep casually stalking.

Ta.