July 20, 2010

What an idiot you are.

You honestly think that torture a’la gym and disgusting diet are ploys to catch a man? Given that you don’t really know me, I forgive you for assuming that without a significant other, I’m a miserable half-human-being, but you deserve a sharp smack for assuming that among the things I’d do to obtain a male of the species, losing weight is one of them.

Truth is, I have no issues with someone wanting me because they think I'm attractive. In its own way, it’s flattering (and as we all know I’m very prone to flattery). But the body is a transient thing. Today it’s skinnier, tomorrow it’ll become fat again. Today its young, tomorrow it’ll be wrinkled. Today I have a pretty face, tomorrow I may be victim to something that changes the way I look entirely. And when (if) any of these things happen Mr-Man-who-wants-me-for-the-way-I-look will naturally walk off in search of more attractive pastures.

I’m admittedly shallow, and I’ve rejected more than one person in the past because I didn’t like the way they looked. That said, I’ve rejected more because their personality – and mine – would have been disastrous together. At the end of the day I expect whoever chooses me to choose me for what he cannot see: the person inside. Because this I can promise you: looks may come, and looks may go, but ‘I’ go on forever.

So, to answer your incredibly stupid question: Not too long ago I was a very awkward, unattractive teenager and the people who loved me then are infinitely more precious to me than those who love me when (by virtue of hard work and excellent cosmetics) I’m prettier. But I work on my body nevertheless, because it feels good to look good. All the hard work seems like it’s worth it when the clothes fit better and the compliments come in. But whatever I do, I do only for me.

Which, my love, is exactly as it should be.



Deepak Iyer said...

"At the end of the day I expect whoever chooses me to choose me for what he cannot see: the person inside. "

You didn't see the double entendre here? [:P]

Xeb said...

haha, no I didn't. But now that you mention it... :P

Zunaster said...

Xeb ! I love you for this post!

Vagabond said...

Hey Xeb, wait a minute. Theres a bit of very obvious contradiction here.

You admit your superficiality and then you jump to the opposite pole, taking such righteousness to Aristotle heights.

"I’m admittedly shallow, and I’ve rejected more than one person in the past because I didn’t like the way they looked.

I am not trying to advocate the guys you rejected based on looks. My point being, you shouldnt expect somebody to choose you to choose you for what he cannot see. Historically speaking, you havent done that either.

I am just trying to understand this contradiction. Were you like this before and you changed and decided to write this post? Or are you still the same and would reject somebody who comes along, based on what he looks like, expecting others to choose you for what they cant see?

Probably it haunts you now how you rejected those pretty people in the past and youre venting the guilt through the post. Not a bad idea actually. Could work if you also get rid of the contradiction.

I have more to say on this topic. The comment has gotten way too long already. Let me know if you want more feedback about this.

Xeb said...

Z: :)

V: Stop psychoanalyzing me. I'm human, ergo an oxymoron most of the time. I don't mind being rejected because I don't look good enough (happens all the time). I just don't want to be accepted only because of whats on the outside. In my defense, while I've gravitated towards the shallow (upon occasion), I've also turned down some very pretty frogs simply because they were also pretty soul-less. We do what works for us. What works for me is someone who cares about me regardless of how I look. And frankly, I realize that if I care about what someone looks like too much then frankly I don't really care about 'them', which (though convoluted) seems like a good reason for me to turn them down. Guilt really doesn't factor into it.

I appreciate the feedback though! :P

Vagabond said...

Fair enough. Makes alot of sense now. You might disagree with me but I feel that the not-judging-a-book-by-its-cover, the outside-inside argument and the face-personalit arguments, all have become obsolete over time, as our society gets more capitalist by the day.

I am not intending to make sweeping statementa, there might be exceptions but are usually not accounted for when contrasting with prevalent norms. I have heard people talking about this, teaching this lesson of righteousness, and then settling down with above average looking, fairly rich or rather richer spouse, rejecting all others. They couldnt all be coincidents, the Disney-Perfect-Prince with even beyond perfect personlities who are in love with the girl and not her looks- as cherry on top.

Ill continue with this in a few hours. Have to run. Lots still to say. Ta Ta.