July 19, 2010

There's a fine line between being in a bad mood, and being a generally bad-tempered person, and I suspect I may be close to crossing it. I'm been in a curious sort of funk for a few weeks now and I have no idea how to get out of it. When I'm around friends, it lifts for a while, but descends again not too long after. I'm tired of entertaining myself like one does a cranky two-year-old: appeasing the soul with tiny distractions knowing that its not really going to work for very long and the monster shall re-emerge sooner rather than later.

It occurs to me that one of the most unfortunate repercussions of always-always being late is that one never actually ends up waiting for others. Which would be why I'm absolutely terrible at waiting. And which would also explain why I feel like the universe is trying to teach me a rather miserable lesson for the past few months, and all I'm being asked to do is hold-my-breath and wait (some more). Waiting for direction, waiting for permanence, waiting for romance - waiting for something to happen to shake me out of this goddamn placidity.

Not to be rude limbo, but I'm getting very tired of you.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

let's imagine for a moment that saad were to walk/stroll back into your life...will u take him back?

Anonymous said...

Do you know what 'you' want?

Xeb said...

Hahaha. I may not know what I want, but I definitely know what I don't want. Experience, Saadonymous, is a very good teacher that way! :P

Vagabond said...

I pretty much scrutinized all your posts. 'Facebook Like'.

On a more serious note, it was great stumbling upon a blog not talking about Politics, Sufism, crime and sports. Great reading about life and society in general. I also write along the same lines, except my writing is a million times bitter, cynical and blantantly blunt. Though, I just started publicising my writing. Have a look-
www.karachi-vagabond.blogspot.com

And yeah, question: Why are you referring to yourself in third person in 'about me'. You sound like a crazy narcissist. But yeah, good show, if that was the objective.

Xeb said...

V: Err, thank you. And welcome. And I intend to check out your better writing soon :) To answer your question, I don't refer to myself in third person, the person who writes about me refers to me that way. If you scroll down a little, you see the author's name.

Vagabond said...

Ohh, my bad. Btw Its 'bitter writing' not 'better writing'. Ta ta.