May 16, 2010

You don't get it do you? Let me spell it out for you. I. D.o.n.t. L.i.k.e. G.a.m.e.s.

I know you've heard this a million times from nearly every girl who's gone on to play ring-a-ring-roses with your heart. And I'm sorry for you, but the truth is, I get sick of playing even before the first set of cards are laid out on the table.

Maybe I'm too old (if you ask me, I think I was born too old) but I find the excitement of the emotional mind-fuck supremely tedious. I get tired of second-guessing, and tearing out he-loves-me-he-loves-me-not petals of flowers-who-don't-deserve-to-be-decapitated.

If I turn you down today, it'd be for a simple reason: I don't think you want me enough. Some time ago I decided I would never fight for affection. You are no exception to that rule. It may not make sense to you (but it will someday) but I've reached the point where I'd like a relationship to give me a safe place to run around and be me in. I am not going to pretend I'm someone else, simply to hold on to someone I should never have hooked up with to begin with.

My advice to you is to go knock at another door. I'm sure you'll find many women who'll be willing to entertain your indecision.I'm not one of them. If you want me, you know where to find me. You know what to say to me. And you know you're going to get a straight answer, and right now (this minute) the answer is no.

So run away elsewhere darling. This playground is strictly for adults only. Have a good day.


Alpha Za said...

Dear Xeb,

So how would a gentlemen prove to a girl (ANY GIRL) that he wants her desperately? Does it involve copious amounts of self embarrassment? Pricey displays of Grandeur? Perhaps a modern version of the taj mahal?

Why can't girls make the first move once in a while? Try it out and let us know how it goes

In the mean time, enjoy whatever flowers that don't deserve to be decapitated you receive.

Hope you find what you are looking for.


Xeb said...

Dear Alpha,

I think grand gestures a'la Taj Mahal are somewhat superfluous. To my mind, it's the little things are both telling and important. How would I know whether he wants me? I'd pay attention to the details. For me, being wanted is a ten-second phone call in the middle of a crazy-busy day (just because). It's taking me out for a drive in the middle of the night because I'm missed and tomorrow was too far away. It's the after-office phone call just to talk about how the day's been. It's letting go of other things to sit around at home and watch a thunderstorm with me.
Taj Mahals are both boring and a little too out there for me. Self embarrassment is somewhat idiotic.

But just as simply its easy to make you feel not 'wanted', just convenient-to-have-around. It's very easy to understand that you're just a person. Someone to turn to when you want company, easily replaceable with the next one who comes around. At the point where any girl would do, I believe it's prudent to go find 'any girl'. That person (or that relationship) would not be for me.

Despite daily discouragement, I hope I find what I'm looking for too! :P

Much love,


Saif said...

I'm glad I am not on the receiving end of this post.
It is a bit of an enigma though, we all crave maturity in relationships, yet we also long for sigOs to be spontaneous, candid and expressive, which is almost childlike.
And I have found, in my advanced years (no I was not born old, too much of a Peter Pan fan for that), the line between acceptable adulthood and acceptable Never-Neverland becomes harder to draw.

On a separate note, I'm in love with your blog. My apologies for lurking up till now; I didn't have the ability to comment. Darn WebSense!

For some perspective on how a guy thinks about the first move, or lack thereof, I think Billy Joel says it best,
"This isn't easy for me to say, Diane,
I know you don't need anybody's protection,
I really wish I was less of a thinking man
And more a fool who's not afraid of a rejection."

cheers, ji


Lonely Perverted Soul said...

Ouch that post must have hurt.. I hope u find sum1 soon and hope tht i find one too...

Xeb said...

S: Thanks for commenting :) And I don't think I'm culturally programmed to make the first move. I totally sympathize with the Pakistani male though, it must suck to be at the asking end of the equation!

LPS: I don't think it did! :P But it's okay, that's precisely the reason for the post anyway.

Saira said...

Mango lassi. That's all I can suggest. It fixes EVERY THING!

Saif said...

X: You're quite welcome. I wasn't advocating a break from cultural programming, though plenty of your fans would say you're remarkably unconventional..... Just offering perspective on the male psyche.
It is not exclusive to Pakistani males alone though, you should read Dave Barry's piece on men, deer, women and tractors :)

And the comments will probably keep on coming, cos I can't keep away from here.


Saif said...

As a lahori, mango lassi just offends me. Either by itself is an orgasm of taste, but to combine a sindhri aam with lassi is disgraceful to both.
One's man meat is another man's poison.

BeKn|GhTeD said...

OMG DUDE!!! Not only do i totally agree with you but OMG DUDE!!! I feel exactly the same way!!!! I guess good sense does not discriminate by gender huh?

"I've reached the point where I'd like a relationship to give me a safe place to run around and be me in. I am not going to pretend I'm someone else, simply to hold on to someone I should never have hooked up with to begin with."


word verification: hundog

Oh the irony of it all!