May 17, 2010

Islamabad and I have a complicated relationship. For two days, the city has been scorching me in headache-inducing sunlight. It's been hot, and everything has annoyed me. For most of the weekend I've been wondering what possessed me to move to this hell-hole and try to build a life here amongst people I don't even like (much). I'm wondering how long I'll be able to navigate my way through one annoying clique to another. I've been trying to come to terms with not-belonging by virtue of not being born and brought up in these hallowed hills filled with narrow, single-dimensional people. And for two days, the baking heat has taken my temper to a point when I'm ready to call my relationship with Islamabad quits and seriously plan my great escape to anywhere but here.

And then today, Islamabad - like a lover who's suddenly realized he's gone much too far - turns a complete about face. This morning, I drive out of my building into the softest, most beautiful weather possible. All day, I've been looking out of my office window at green hills, and the stream skipping away on the rocks punctuated by rain-drops. When I walk out (to breathe in the rainy weather) it's like I'm wrapped in a cocoon of loveliness. And suddenly, Islamabad no longer seems so bad. My lot in life no longer seems oppressive, and I almost feel bad about thinking such awful things about my life in Islamabad for the past two days. Our relationship - this city and mine - may be turbulent, but on days like today I don't much care about past ills: Truth is, I really do love living here :)

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

wow. u cud have so easily replaced isloo with saad without missing a beat!

Lonely Perverted Soul said...

Ok im really hating ur anonymous stalker.. Havent u been able to find out who he or she is..? Anyways ive been in lhr for the last 3 days wid scorching heat and whr the light is going more thn its staying... :s

kay-tee said...

saadonymous strikes again!

Saif said...

I'm much more partial to Lahore itself, but I do love the general sense of dichotomy you have about your life....... I can relate to it on so many levels.

The sad saadonymous makes me go "GROWF!"

Or "meh"
Blech.

dudmak said...

ok seriously saadonymous, its like YOU miss him more than xeb does...face the fact that they're both perfectly fine without each other...its been more than 3 years, they've moved on, why the hell cant u?

BeKn|GhTeD said...

I love Isloo too. And Anons should just drop dead.

Marina said...

second time you captured my feelings about my city perfectly :) <3

Xeb said...

:)