April 9, 2010

My mommy always says, no matter what happens to you in life, one should always take a good look at those who are worse off and thank God, instead of throwing recriminations and/or temper tantrums that-a-way. She's of the opinion that the gratitude (instead of whining) usually leads to better things in-life-to-come. This logic sometimes makes sense to me, and other times it seems somewhat annoying to constantly be on the lookout for someone more miserable-than-I-am so that favorable comparisons can take place.

At the risk of being dramatic, I have been betrayed by someone I loved in the past. I have been forsaken in favor of another, I have been lied to, I have been unceremoniously removed from people's lives as-if-I-really-didn't-matter (truth is, I probably didn't). Point is: I've been there, been hurt many times over. But applying mommy's wisdom to my love-life today, I truly am thankful that whatever that the men I loved-in-the-past did to me, atleast they didn't drown me, carve up my body and then eat my meat with potatoes just because they were hungry.

I think it's about time I listened to mommy now. And so:

Dear God,

I am very-very sorry for all the many times I whined (at-large) about my sad love-life. I'm also very sorry that I have kept going-on-and-on about being emotionally manhandled by the Peter Pans of this world. Instead, let me thank you for giving me people-to-love who - despite all their faults - were genuinely lovable. Thank you for being kind enough to keep me away from carnivorous monsters. Thank you for keeping me safe and healthy and very, very happy with who I am.

I'm not at-all-sure what happens to people after they're dead and gone. But if religious lore be true, and they do end up with you, could you please take special care of the little girl who met a fate truly, truly worse than death. Could you also tell her that I hope those bastards get their due (both in this world, and in whatever comes after) and that if there is any justice in this place they will suffer. And, if at all possible, can you please give her a hug? Because no one, no matter who they are, and how stupid their life choices might be, deserves the kind of fate she had.

Thank you,

- Xeb


noone said...

May you have an awesome awesome boy in your life
better than your wishes and dreams
better than your ideals
better than perfect


Roshni said...

Amen to that ^

and wow...that was ..screwed in so many ways o.o

Xeb said...

n: :)

R: Wasn't it? Still gives me the creeps! :S

How do we know said...

eeeps... this news made me sick!!

falsay said...

Hey :)
I just dropped by to let you know, that I frequently check the virtual world to see if you've updated your blog.
I love how candidly you share the odd (and not so odd) bits and bobs of your life. Sometimes, I crack up while reading your posts. I love the blog.

By the way, I am with your mum on this one.

Xeb said...

H: Me too!

F: Na? My mommy is plenty wise methinks!