March 3, 2010

what the fuck is ur problem
ive got the hots for you
its like a teenage crush developing into something very complicated
and u treat me like shit
all the time

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Dear Person-from-the-distant-past-too-trivial-to-refer-to-even-by-alphabet,

You are confused beyond belief. And somewhat stupid. You are not interested in me, you merely have issues with the fact that there exists - on the horizon of your consciousness - someone who is not interested in you.

I do not treat you like shit. On the contrary, I'm generally always polite. And when I have the time (which is almost never) you get more attention than you should, given that you bore me after the first five minutes of casual chit-chat.

You 'may' have the hots for me, but unfortunately I require a little more stimulus than an 'i-want-to-make-out-with-you' to motivate me to show an interest in you.

My apologies for upsetting your tender feelings,

- Xeb

16 comments:

Deepak Iyer said...

I can't speak for this person-too-trivial-to guy, but anonymous commenters are sure as hell going to run for their lives. On second thoughts, why haven't they already ? This is hardly your first post that would make them scramble.
Oh, and I profusely apologize if this one or any other smart-alecky comment rubbed you the wrong way. I also apologize for the comments I never wrote.
Man this post was impactful.

Xeb said...

D: Annoying anons are nothing if not persistent, we find. And I'm not certain if there are any (many) moments of hidden sarcasm in the above, but I'm glad the post was impactful! :P

Deepak Iyer said...

@Xeb : No no no no .. absolutely no sarcasm in that comment. Straight from the heart .. honest. Pinky swear.

Oh and about the post, I vote for anyone using the sentence 'I've got the hots for you' to automatically be banished. I mean, reallly ?

Anonymous said...

annoying anon was only enamored by the union of xeb and saad. together they made magic and made life fun for all their mutual friends. post breakup they are a shadow of their 'uber cool' self. I dont know about other 'anons' but at least this one still lurks around 'cos this blog brings back so much nostalgia. xeb i'm sorry for sounding so mushy but I cant let go becoz (xeb+saad) will always be associated with my best memories!

Xeb said...

D: I second that motion. I once had a man (community sponsored ofcourse) tell me that the reason he thinks he should marry me is because I'm really hot. I wanted to smack him and then go tell his mommy. Being a good girl, I did neither. But the impulse remains.

Anon: Hello again. Nice to know you're still alive. Did you know Saad is married? And his wife practices voodoo. If you're not careful there will be little anonymous effigies hanging around all over the place with pins stuck in uncomfortable places. Happy memories aside, I think you to forget the magic and look out for your future.

Xeb said...

*to = should

Anonymous said...

This is precisely the reason why islam allows polygamy...and they say islam is not a religion of love...

Xeb said...

I'm torn between laughter and fighting the urge to be sick.

Anon, I think it's time you disappeared again.

(Shame on Deepak for calling you forth somehow)

*shoo*

Ally said...

Hello =P

Xeb said...

Hello, Hello! :)

Anonymous said...

You ARE hot!! and this is based on the only two things I know of you.. your pic here and the writings. Please keep on writing like this... it gives me a high!!

Xeb said...

Err, okay then.

Arunima said...

:-) This was too good. oh man, not even an alphabet.

I was very angry when someone mailed me as thus, Hi http://arunima.blogspot.com/ on my personal id. :-)

Saad said...

X: You Hot! Lets Marry! (Now that i don't need permission from Biwi to get hitched again! I love being in Punjab!)

Xeb said...

Boid: Fuck off! :P And take your number one fan with you!

Americanising Desi said...

i might be too inspired to actually take up "Dear Person-from-the-distant-past-too-trivial-to-refer-to-even-by-alphabet" and link you to it!


I am kinda shaky now... like totally!