March 25, 2010

I had a rather bizarre conversation with my grandmother. It began with her asking me why I didn't want to marry boy 'X'. I had no real reply. She pressed the case by reminding me that he lives in Amreeka (the joys of the non-Pakistani passport are many, I hear) and that he's an architect (and thereby going to make a lot of money someday). I told her I didn't think he was particularly interested in me. She was not impressed with that. According to her times have changed and girls no longer need boys to run after them in order to prove that they want them. In fact, girls can contact boys themselves if they want to. At which point she asked me if I wanted his email. I told her that (un)fortunately the joys of modernity haven't really caught up with me yet and I'm a very traditional sort of girl (you begin to see the utter absurdity of this conversation?). As far as I'm concerned this whole woman libby thing about women proposing to their man may work very well for some people, but I prefer to be the one being chased. And if ever I'm called upon to play pursuer, I lose interest very, very quickly. Grandmother was not impressed. She said she expected better of me than these namby-pamby answers about boy not being interested in me. Says she, what's there to be not-interested-in? I grant you, she is my grandmother and understandably biased but I somewhat agree with her. That said, coming back to the point about the amreeki-architect-boy, I'm still somewhat stumped. I could tell her that I know him well, we've been out with mutual friends often and we partied together a time or twice once-upon-a-lifetime ago when I lived in Manhattan - which would be when he was very squarely placed in the friend category and I'm not in the least inclined (even were he interested, which he is not) to move him to another. Grandmother is still not impressed by what she puts under the head of nonsense the modern woman should be beyond subscribing to and proceeds to have a few spoonfuls of tomato soup. I welcome the reprieve seriously feeling like the last few minutes have been one hell of an ordeal. All of a sudden she looks up, looks me in the eye (the way only grandmothers can) and asks me: why don't I want to marry Mr. Y from Canada?

I truly wonder when my family began to ask me why I don't want to marry X, Y or Z instead of asking me why I 'do'. I've tried (rather unsuccessfully) to tell them that you don't need a reason to 'not' want to marry someone. I shouldn't have to invent platitudes blaming everything from his height (or lack thereof) to the cut of his clothes (if his pants are waist high, an issue is born) for my non-willingness to embrace matrimony. Fact is, I shouldn't need a reason at all beyond the fact that I don't want to. But that's not the way it seems to work anymore. And I'm getting sick and tired of constantly having to be on the defensive as far as the marital quest is concerned. As if I'm taking this daring stance and committing to spinsterhood. Last I heard, I was totally in charity with becoming Mrs. somebody. That said, do they really expect me to commit to the kind of cartoons that have been heading my way? Really? Really-Really? :S

14 comments:

Deepak Iyer said...

Oh come on now ! Architecture is a booming industry .. with all the building bombing.
If you still can't make up your mind, take a poll of your readers. All profound questions are resolved by polling. And you can't deny -- we have your best interests at heart .. pinky swear. Except annoying anon : separate poll for him that includes his boytoy as the only option.

I wonder if your grandmother has a blog somewhere where she is writing how utterly useless her one particular granddaughter is [:D]

Fickle said...

Glad to know I'm not the only one dealing with the absurdities of this rishta business!
Guys are supposed to chase girls...why are people trying to change that?

Anonymous said...

...instead of asking me why I 'did'.

oh, don't worry xeb, they will! (if they're anything like most families)
:-)

the chase. very intriguing. what would life be without it! but, xeb, surely your grandmother isn't asking you to propose to him? could it be that she's just saying: see if he will chase you? but then again, if you know him well, you're probably right.

Xeb said...

D: Suggestions duly noted.

F: Na? Life would be very dull without the chase! :P

Anon: Change noted! :P And about the guy, I prefer men who decide they want me, to be proactive about it. It doesn't guarantee they'll get anywhere, but it means they'll definitely have a better chance than the backbenchers. Shy guys not my type.

Xeb said...

Deepak: I just re-read the bit about my grandmother's blog~! :P I'm amused enough at the thought to think of aping the concept for my next blogging adventure! *hehe*

Anonymous said...

well, yes, of course xeb!... there are so very few guarantees in these matters-and no doubt also a certain thrill in being able to determine someone *else's* chances!

Thoth said...

I wish i had a grandma like that.

Xeb said...

Anon: At the moment I determine no ones chances! :P Least of all mine!

Xeb said...

Thoth: Take mine? :P

Anonymous said...

well, that's too bad xeb. hope that someone/the one floats by your way soon.

Xeb said...

Anon: Thanks! :) Me too! :P

Thoth said...

I will gladly do so if she can defend the same case for pretty babes. Like 4 of them babes. Hmm. She sounds pretty convincing.

Anway Anon dude, thanks for the wish, we wish you the same. Cause if you got any currently it's clearly not working out right for ya, is it now, Love?
Love!!

Anonymous said...

Thoth, do calm down for heaven's sake!

"we"? Err...unless you and xeb are the same person, or you're royalty, that word doesn't make much sense since I was only wishing xeb.

"got any"?

you do amuse me, thoth :-)

Xeb said...

Calm down kids. Seriously.