The green isn't because I lack companionship, or people to flirt with (remember life is rather, err, interesting aaj kal). But because I suddenly came face-to-face with what I've been missing: The rather unique fantasy created when two people decide that they're in love. An introspective bubble where no one exists except for you - and I - and the world fades away into the far distance.
I miss being in love. I miss the nuances and the comforts and even - if I'm being perfectly honest - I miss the knowing there's someone out there I have the power to hurt. But most of all, I miss the intensity. I miss the all-consuming-blindness where the 'I' seizes to matter and everything is about 'us'.
And I hate knowing that this is the one thing I can't control. I can decide who to date (and who not to). I can decide who to jump into a relationship with (and who to stay far away from). Were I so inclined, I could decide who to marry (and who to turn down). But I find I cannot conveniently decide who I'm going to fall in love with. And more annoyingly, who will fall in love with me.
And so, my lovelies, the cynic demands the fairy-tale. Irony features quite prominently in the story of my life, does it not?. *sigh*