December 9, 2009

Living alone has rather bizarre consequences if one happens to be situated in the Islamic Republic. One of these, I have discovered is a tendency for male residents of my apartment building to knock on my door in a grotesque parody of what the women in Desperate Housewives are wont to do. They knock, and if perchance they find me at home, they introduce themselves on rather flimsy excuses. The last specimen that darkened my doorstep wanted to know if my maid was reputable and whether he could have her number. He subsequently spent some time plaguing her for my number, thankfully the woman was smart enough to refuse. But coming back to the point, they knock and deliver some sort of random schpeil and after they're done, aping the homemade-apple-pie goodwill gesture a'la DH, they inevitably offer the services of their assorted servants (should I never need someone to run my errands for me) and assure me that while they're around I have nothing to worry about. Ironically, their reassurances make me begin to worry. And wonder, if living alone in the motherland was such a smart decision after all?

Sigh.

13 comments:

Lonely Perverted Soul said...

Trust ur a brave woman..and i admire u for that... Btw if u need any help anytime with anything do let me know.. ;)

uglyduckling91 said...

Answer the door with an AK-47 in hand. :)

the sheikh said...

Put a sign on your door that says "MRS Xeb (last name)"

Desert Mystery said...

Better yet, put a sign on the door "Mrs Xeb...wife of Captain so and so"

Anyone asks...you tell them your "husband" is currently deployed. Should at least cause creepy weirdos to have some second thoughts. If that doesnt work, AK-47 in hand should do the trick :)

Saad said...

nononononooooo.....
you can't tell people you're married. they know you're hymen-less and living alone, it means you're open to being approached and hit on and seduced into their loving embrace! =P

Mrs X with husband away is a lonely housewife looking to get laid!

Thoth said...

Dude, whichever you decide upon a body guard or big obscene vulgar dog, i am updating my resume for both posts.

Xeb said...

LPS: :P

ud: *hmmm* violence is one option.

ts: deceit, duplicity and giving in to patriarchal double standards is another.

DM: deceit and violence together... the plot thickens... :P

S: Excellent point. It appears no woman is safe unless she is 'claimed' and attached (limpet-like) to her big-strong-man.

T: I'm quite seriously thinking of investing in one or the other. Tell me, how soon can you be available? Also, do you come with references? :P

Thoth said...

You know what, dogs actually scare creepy guys more than the moustached dudes with guns.
I'd be available pretty soon and those reference, none at all. You can have only my word, unfortunately.

Xeb said...

Haha, you may be right. But dogs scare the bejeezers out of me as well! :( A bodyguard it shall have to be. Without references, my friend, how do you expect me to take a chance on you?

Thoth said...

Well, all the Alsatians and mongrels who have trained me at fence jumping, playing fetch, night vigils and tail wagging are either dead or can't write. So yea. That's a catch.

Xeb said...

Life, it seems, is filled with catches. Such-a-pity. :P

Thoth said...

Amen to that. So is mine too, filled with adorable little catches. Totally not a pity, though.

Xeb said...

:)