November 28, 2009

The same round of jokes circulate over-and-over along the auspicious occasion of Bakra eid sympathizing with the poor-about-to-be-assassinated-goat/cow/whatchamacallit. The jokes (e.g. 'My bakra doesn't like me. He suspects I am hiring someone to get him assassinated') fit the occasion and they really are very funny (for the most part) except then you realize that entirely too many people seem to be suddenly sympathetic to the sacrificial animal's sad plight. Facebook after facebook status (always a good gauge of society's sentiments) advertise tender-hearted displeasure at the cruel murder of a living thing. This is where I stop being amused at what amounts to black humor (making fun of the about-to-be-killed is a somewhat sadistic thing to do) and get irritated at the ruckus. It occurs to me that people often just need a reason to campaign. And I, for one, find myself campaigning against senseless campaigning.

When I was young-enough-for-story-tale-bedtimes, I remember hearing all about the-boy-who-cried-wolf. What I see here is an entire plethora of the foreign-educated-yuppie-types yelling at the top of their lungs: 'goat'. In response to some particularly annoying comments I have come across over the past week:

1. 'It's so crruueelll. Poor bakra being killed like that.'

Yes darling it is. PETA will be proud of you. Please remember that when you're ordering your next steak or lamb-chop meal. I know you're particularly fond of mutton karhai. And weren't you the one who confessed to me your love for seekh kababs? I hate to break it to you sugar, but the animals all those lovely dishes were made off didn't commit suicide. They were also *gasp* killed. In precisely the same way. With blood gushing out of their throats all warm and red while they make gurgling noises. Poor things probably writhed on the ground for a while before they were skinned, chopped up and sold to the cook. Point being: if you think it's so cruel turn vegan. Then you have a point to make. Until then, STFU.


2. I felt like I was killing my pet. *sniff*

Very touching. The fact that mo-moh your 'pet' bakra has been in your family's bosom for all of one day (okay, two in your case) where she/he/it has been tied up in the far corner of the backyard (where it will smell the least) and has done nothing much except for bleat annoyingly and shit all over the place should - methinks - curtail the excess passions of your deep-rooted love. Maybe you're the kind of person who takes one look at the bakra's limpid-brown-eyes and sees your bestial soulmate. But then again, didn't you make a cherished pet out of last-year's bakra also? What a fickle-fickle person you turned out to be! Shame on you! If you had any real sentiments you would have offered yourself in your bakra's stead.


3. Society can be helped in better, more efficient ways. Why sacrifice an animal?

Err, why not? And why the hell would you be sitting here arguing for bakra-rights instead of going out and helping society in better ways? You're clearly a man on a mission here, I suggest you fulfill it. *shoo*


4. In truth this is just a pre-Islamic Jewish tradition.

Implying that it doesn't apply to Muslims? The logic (if-any-be-there) in this argument completely eludes me.


5. We're not cattle farmers anymore.

True. We're cattle killers. And cattle eaters. And most of us really do love a nice juicy steak. *muhahahaha*


6. It's disgusting. There's blood all over the city, and they throw the stomachs etc all over for everyone to see. Ick.

I can't argue with you there. I think it's horrible how people throw animal refuse in the streets instead of disposing it where it can't make you puke. That said, why is general ignorance of basic public etiquette causing you to pass judgment on a tradition-from-long-ago. I don't recall the laws of sacrifice saying: 'And thou shalt dispose of offal in the most offensive possible manner calculated to sicken your neighbor and make the air smell exceedingly foul'. Or do they?

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Really people. Leave the poor bakra-killers alone. Grow up. Harden them hearts. Then run out into the streets and campaign against Lord V and the senseless butchering of human beings that your country is victim to. 'Mo-moh', my loves, will just have to take a back-seat this time.

Happy campaigning.

Good-bye.

4 comments:

Torn said...

Hear, hear!

Anonymous said...

I do love your sense of humor...those bleeding heart wannabe liberals can shove it, eat meat and protest against "V"... sweet dreams are made of these...who am i to disagree...

Farhan said...

"I hate to break it to you sugar, but the animals all those lovely dishes were made off didn't commit suicide"
... hehehe, couldn't have said it better.
We are all so senselessly myopic and ignorant aren't we. The end-product is all we see (as if it magically pops up in our plates and refrigerators) and have no idea what goes on throughout the supply chain.

Ali said...

'Mo-moh' the leemur from avatar :P