November 28, 2009

I'm losing memories.

Every few days someone-or-the-other reminds me of something that happened in the past and I realize that I've lost all recollection of the event. I have no idea why this is, or what I can do to prevent it. A friend-who-will-one-day-be-a-shrink tells me that this is a sign of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder, for the uniniated). She may be right.

For example, I remember nothing prior to August 4th of the summer-when-my-father-died.

A friend of mine who came down from Kabul-to-Karachi for the weekend sometime in July that year was traumatized when it became clear that I had no recollections of her trip. She spent quite a bit of time with me that trip, and as she painstakingly reminded me while crabbing last night, we went for many dinners and a cheap-Pakistani movie together. She even came over to my house for a meal.

I nodded, and smiled, and pretended to remember all the while desperately searching my brain for anything more than a shadow of the past. No luck. I take her word for it. I know we must have done all that and more. But as much as I try, I cannot summon up the particulars.

Is it possible for something like this to happen? For your brain to suddenly turn around and refuse to acknowledge periods in time. I've always had a rotten long-term memory, but this is just a little absurd methinks.

Ab kya?

11 comments:

Lonely Perverted Soul said...

Koi nai its gud to forget the past a little...

madeyemoody said...

...or maybe, Lord V possessed u through his blog! what great fun, the basilisk and Nagini are now under your control!

Xeb said...

LPS: I've never begrudged my awful memory before. Truth be told I think it makes me a better person. You can't hold grudges against people for things you don't remember! :P

m: That also is a distinct possibility. That said, no convenient snakes have offered themselves for me to command. Yet.

Lonely Perverted Soul said...

Yea thts a good point :) khair choro.. how was ur eid?

Xeb said...

Eid is, bitter-sweet, as everything in Karachi always is. How's yours?

Lonely Perverted Soul said...

Yea kinda same... was on call.. still am... Will go out wid frnds after a while...

Btw i found this great indoor sheesha place...

Deepak Iyer said...

You'll be fine just like you were the last 4 times after writing similar posts.

Xeb said...

D: I was just about to ask you when I wrote a post about losing my memory before. Then I remembered who I was talking to. Grudgingly I must admit: good one! :P

Deepak Iyer said...

Damn, I should've made use of that awesome anonymous functionality of this blog [:)] But all in good fun.

On a lesser serious note, if you don't remember the friend visiting you, maybe it's not the memory, maybe it's the friend [:P]

OnLY OnE..! said...

I think its the effect of the PTSD too, or sometimes when something bigger and more important and more scary has happened, all your brain resources are gone into dealing with that - that the part of your brain responsible for changing that short term memory into long term doesn't work. (thus changing remembering the dinner 2 nights ago to remembering that dinner that happened summer 08.)

I dont know if that made any sense :S

And on the other note I do think its a good thing *sometimes*, cause you can't remember the bad stuff...I on the other hand have the memory of an elephant and I curse it on many occasions. I guess you win some, you lose some ;).

Ali said...

You loose chunks and bits, but i am not sure if that is a good thing or not.