October 15, 2009

Last year I spent valentines weekend at a Sufi Ashram in Philadelphia. (A friend of mine is a devotee and it seemed like an interesting thing to do) Anyhow, amongst other spiritual stuff, I managed to somehow wangle a mini-future-telling session out of some of the people there. The session featured some numerology, some palmistry and a seance-of-sorts. Amongst many things they told me the man for me was highly likely to be an 'accountant'. *insert-sound-of-breaking-glass-signifying-shattered-illusions-here*

Unsurprisingly, I was 'not' happy. I very firmly informed my audience (both live and speaking-from-the-grave, as it were) that I have no love for accountants. I speculate that accountants are of the highly boring sort (no offence, but you know it's true) and that would be mental suicide for someone who constantly needs distraction. So 'no', I announced, I want no part whatsoever of this accountant-fellow, and I asked them to kindly deliver this message to whoever up there decides these things with a stern warning to please-stop-playing-havoc-with-my-future-love-life-thank-you-very-much.

I asked Uncle Raghavan who was reading my palm to please re-read since he had clearly gotten lost in translation somewhere. He obliged and said well, 'he' (this-he-is-ofcourse-the-he-I've-been-waiting-for-thus-far-in-life) clearly has a logical-sort-of-mind (implying he'd have to have one to deal with me, I'm still torn between resentment and amusement at his conclusion), he definitely deals with numbers, mathematics-you-know. Then he asks me, 'Unless, are you in love with a businessman?' (Ironically, as fickle-as-I-am, at that point of time I was. Remember man-from-London-every-one-warned-me-against?) But to Uncle Raghavan I said: Maybe I am. He looked at me speculatively, hummed and hawed a bit and then said he 'could' be a businessman. I eagerly grasped this possibility. Anything, I figure, is better than a boring-accountant. But before I could bask in my destiny he abruptly changed his mind. Nope. Most probably an accountant. Possibly finance.

And there you have it. The man for me is clearly so-not the man for me. But in view of recent (arranged)marital adventures and cousins-five-years-younger tying the knot, I has decided to magnanimously let my grudge against future-hubby's profession slide.

Accountant, toh accountant hi sahi.

*sigh*

38 comments:

Deepak Iyer said...

I am sure your accountant is delayed because of recession - with no job.

Hey ! You know where you should look ? Job websites !

Desert Mystery said...

They say odds of falling in love increase exponentially in a war zone. Since you are in the nexus of plotting a major military campaign...if you see an accountant, ask him to provide safety and cover :P

Ali said...

T_T

APOO said...

Could be a statistician! They work with numbers!

pishipotty said...

Philly rocks!

Accountants not so much.

ARandomGuy said...

DAMN! I am no accountant :(...wouldn't you be more interested in a marketing person

* gives u a raised eyebrow look*

p.s. I have to deal with numbers (sometime) for marketing budget and all..will it do?

Xeb said...

D: Is an out-of-work accountant better than a currently-employed accountant, that be the question.

DM: What-oh-what would an accountant be doing in a warzone? (I did come across a very cute documentary maker kal, but he was also very interesting ergo no accounting happening there I speculate). I'd love to fall in love at a warzone (appeals to sense of romance and drama both), but sadly I don't see accountant cooperating. Sigh.

A: :(

AP: Could be, could be. Tell me do you know any statisticians-worth-my-while?

p: I hear you. And I hear you. :(

ARG: I'd happily settle for anything non-accountant-y. The question is, will kismet cooperate?!

ARandomGuy said...

I`ll b visiting Isloo for a day b/w 25-27th someday, lets meet up

(*another raised eyebrow look*)

mehreenkasana said...

Don't mind me asking but how old are you? I mean, is your family into marriages that must-occur-during-the-age-of-20-to-25?

Anonymous said...

dont stress so much about marriage!! when its meant to be it'll be and no amount of worrying can help...is your family pressuring you so much...or are you feeling like you should get married cos all your friends , cousins are? whats going onnnn girllll!!

The_Accountant said...

*Runs towards you bollywoodly to embrace you*

Though, I'm fucking sick of my job.

uglyduckling91 said...

ACCOUNTANTS ARE BORING!
PICK ME! ME ME ME! I'M GONNA BE A SOFTWARE ENGINEER! ME ME ME ME! I'LL ACT 27 AROUND YOU! ME ME ME ME!

Xeb said...

ARG: I probably won't be there. A little birdie tells me I may be in Lahore then.

m: I don't mind you asking. I just crossed 25 last year.

Anon: The pressure started a little bit after my dad died, and it won't let up since. This blog is pretty much my only venting place, in 'real' life I just grin and bear it! :P

Accountant: It's about time. And you should totally quit the accountancy-crap. I give you leave to embrace any other profession. Think glamorous, you could be 'staar'! *hehe*

UD: Done! :P Just practice the whole acting 27-bit for when we meet. Theek?

annie said...

dude are you okay?

Xeb said...

a: I be good! :) Why you ask?

Lonely Perverted Soul said...

Nhiiiii... Not a accountant... Anybody but an accountant... Accountants are just not fun... :P

Xeb said...

LPS: Tell me about it! *sigh*

Annie said...

arkh.

heard there was an attack in quetta ...and well, you were the first person who came to me head

turns out that was a stupid rumor.

ARandomGuy said...

I`ll be in Lahore from 23rd to 1st :p
with the exception of one day trip that iam gonna make to islamabad :)

(*Evil grin*)

Anonymous said...

annie be really worried i see..

Anonymous said...

I'm a mathematician working at one of the big 4 accounting firms in test West. I seek compatibility in a smart and slender woman.

Do you offer all 3? The compability, the smarts, the slenderrrr.

Anonymous said...

Test was the*

but now that I have accidentally brought it up, a little something about tests...

I have done incredibly well on most of them..

Xeb said...

A: I've been told that an attack is imminent, however since the Waziristan thing is apparently very much on the cards the idea behind targeting the rest of the country is distraction.

Anon: Go away. No compatibility. No smarts. No slenderrr. Sorry.

Anon2: You just failed this one. *shoo*

Annie said...

If you put back the comment moderation, what will I read with my morning tea...*annie wonders*

Xeb said...

A: Haha, I'm against moderation on principle. So if not forced, I'll gladly dispense with the censorship! :P

ARandomGuy said...

OK! So u totally ignored me!! :(

Xeb said...

ARG: I did?

ARandomGuy said...

Of course! i told you i`ll be lahore and islamabad so lets meet up and u didn't even say.."get a life" or something of that sort !
Ignoring is worse than turning down the offer!
(*droopy faced look*)

Xeb said...

Haha, is it? And here I thought I was being kind by pointing out that it's a little strange (and somewhat desperate) to be angling out to meet-up with someone you've never met, or seen. :P

Xeb said...

Okay, I'm just being mean now. But still! :P

Deepak Iyer said...

Hey now .. this Random Guy seems to be a nice person and given your lack of choice (under the filmmaker is stalker assumption), you should give him a chance.

Plus, your whole life you can say .. 'My life totally rocks .. I hook up with a random guy every day.'

al. e. said...

I was anonymous above, of the first and second kind.

and i love chasing those who push me away.

You've put me in a predicament.

I look at your profile picture..and

I can see those sparkling chestnut eyes staring at me, and i want to let you know that my dark brown eyes are staring back. I have fallen in love with you, i can't stop thinking about you. Day in and Day out, now two days in total. We shall go to bora bora for our honeymoon. I called your home. Your parents have already given me permission to wisk you away to my castle of love.

will you pls extend me the honour of giving me your beautiful hand in marriage? my poor little heart will be crushed if you say no,my love.

Xeb said...

D: Haha, I'm still laughing at the last line! :P

anon?: Err... I'm honestly wondering how to reply to this one! But what-the-hell, a trip to bora bora sounds like a good plan. And I'm too nice to break anyone's heart anyway! :P

al.e. said...

on the roof of your house, there perches a bird. a bird in migration, who unbeknownst to you, is hopelessly lost.

but it's not worried. it also knows that....sometimes, we must lose ourselves to carve our own path.

xeb, I have been lost on the internet. for years. so lost that last week i landed on your blog. so touched by your search for a man who can balance assets and liabilities..i proclaimed my love with all the air in my chest, from atop a rooftop, not much different from yours.

xeb, i have found my path. my path lies in this comment box and the responses it generates from you.

Xeb said...

former-anon: I'm glad you're no longer lost on the internet. Welcome to your new home. May you exist in my comment box (hopefully not in an annoying sort of way). Hopefully our virtual relationship will flourish and be fruitful! :P Happy?

Deepak Iyer said...

@Xeb : Just be safe with the flirting. I don't want a new blog floating around in a few months.

Xeb said...

D: Good point.

al.e. said...

Xeb, of course what you really mean is, our virtual real-ationship.