July 28, 2009
There are many-many ways to tell if one has 'grown up', none of which actually include the biological process of aging. One of these I discover is when I'm called to weigh the practicalities of assumed responsibility against personal inclination and choose the former over the latter. Translated into business terms, I find Xeb-knows-she's-gotten-older when she decides not to take a trip to Karachi (sacrificing supplementing a meagre wardrobe) not because staying here to work will pay her more (because she's getting paid plenty either way), or because she can't afford the trip (airtickets are free) but because she's suddenly conscious of a responsibility that is associated with leading a team, and heading a unit. I find that I'm incapable of going home to re-pack my bags and jetting off to another city without considering the implications not in terms of parties I have to attend (I-must-admit-that-has-been-an-important-consideration-in-the-past) but rather in terms of work I have to do, and the results I'm hoping to achieve. I'm a little impressed and a little depressed over this decision to give precedence to work over trivial-profundities. Impressed because I didn't realize I had reached the point where I could make the right decision without supervision, pressure or someone-to-impress out there. More than that, once I made the call, it also takes a certain degree of 'grown-up-ness' to realize that it was - at the end of the day - the right one. That said, whether it's biological, or attitudinal, growing-up signifies (in-a-bitter-sweet-sort-of-way) the end of yet another phase of my life and even as I register that something is gained, I also register that yet another peice of childhood is lost and - possibly - gone forever.