June 20, 2009
My thirteen-hour flight from Washington to Dubai was unforgettable. Not because it was a defining moment, i.e. my exit from the USofA (although it was) but because of the baby orchestra that played incessantly through the flight from beginning to end. I counted a minimum of eight cherubs between the ages of just produced reaching five. Their discordant voices emerged at random emitting a cacophony of the most mind numbing sounds. There was one baby, an unfortunate production of Indian parents, who had a particular talent for emitting the most earsplitting shrieks I have ever heard. Listening to them - and nurturing a migraine - I wonder at the nature of parental love that can allow a mother or a father to put up with these particular little monstrosities. And then I wonder at capricious fate that has allowed their bundles of joy to become the source of my utter and complete misery. I wonder also what United (a most disgusting airlines, never, never, never fly it) Airline’s policy would be on throwing babies overboard. It occurs to be that one by one throwing the little devils through the windows is the only sustainable solution. And on top of that we’d be taking a concrete step towards reducing world population. Two-birds, one-stone, I be a genius with a migraine. Someone please make it stop. Please!