June 20, 2009

My thirteen-hour flight from Washington to Dubai was unforgettable. Not because it was a defining moment, i.e. my exit from the USofA (although it was) but because of the baby orchestra that played incessantly through the flight from beginning to end. I counted a minimum of eight cherubs between the ages of just produced reaching five. Their discordant voices emerged at random emitting a cacophony of the most mind numbing sounds. There was one baby, an unfortunate production of Indian parents, who had a particular talent for emitting the most earsplitting shrieks I have ever heard. Listening to them - and nurturing a migraine - I wonder at the nature of parental love that can allow a mother or a father to put up with these particular little monstrosities. And then I wonder at capricious fate that has allowed their bundles of joy to become the source of my utter and complete misery. I wonder also what United (a most disgusting airlines, never, never, never fly it) Airline’s policy would be on throwing babies overboard. It occurs to be that one by one throwing the little devils through the windows is the only sustainable solution. And on top of that we’d be taking a concrete step towards reducing world population. Two-birds, one-stone, I be a genius with a migraine. Someone please make it stop. Please!

6 comments:

Deepak Iyer said...

Of course they were Indian kids !

In fact, I hear Indian parents locate their missing kids just by following the sound.

Maryam said...

I. Hate. Airplanes.

Babies+Airplanes = I don't care HOW inhuman it looks, either strap them in with gags across their mouths or have the staff throw em.... okay no. Just.. gah. I know how you feel. Bichari.

Opinionated Jaahil said...

Babies on airplanes. CRYING babies on airplanes. *shudders*

jadedworld said...

ugh... torture... reminds of one time we flew to Dubai and I was sitting next to this lady with a crying kid... i was more irritated by the mother who moved the kid just as he/she used to shut up and setted in one position.. setting him off again! sympathies... ear plugs? sleeping mask? tea? a muzzle?

Senilius said...

You should make a movie: Babies on a plane!

jammie said...

you know when i once jokingly (not) suggested overboarding a baby who was just being SO annoying and the worst part was that th emother was leats concerned about the hassle to the others,i was frownd upon by fellow mothers so severely- saying imagine if the kid is unwell or has an earache- and you know honestly, fine i may not have done tarnslatlantic flights with my 2 yr old but i DO happen to know tht kids are kids and can be pacified and entertained by the parents if they try atleast. the problem lies with the parents who imagine that by bringing their baby on the plane and letting him loose, he somehow become the antire ailrines responsbility. so yes. i stand by my suggestion of overbaoprding. I guess i have not mellowed after having a child of my own/