June 14, 2009

I've done this multiple times now, been on the verge of a marital arrangement and then turned tail and run far-far away from the commitment. The sensible part of my brain keeps feeding me rhetoric about the practicalities of just agreeing to marry someone who is 'suitable' in terms of pedigree, fiscal standing and is generally qualified for the eminent task of 'husbanding' me (pun totally intended). I listen to sensibility very carefully, pay it close attention and it sways me to a point when I 'al-moste' agree. But then this annoyingly incessant other part pipes up somewhere at the back of my brain and negates everything I've just been brainwashed into by introducinga plethora of doubts. The clincher is: how can I marry someone if I don't love him? And, perhaps more importantly, how can I marry someone if he doesn't love me? 

At the end of the day it all comes down to a tug of war between sense and emotions. And I'm not talking about the pink-tinged fluff of teenage love-affairs when you fall in love with every second man who you have a twenty minute conversation. I'm talking about something adult, more integral, deeper (if-you-will) and essential for any relationship to move forward. How can anyone make a genuine commitment without any feelings involved? If I don't care about you, how can I pledge to a lifetime of you? And, since adultery is a definite no-no, only you?

And yet, every so now and then I give in to the temptation to take the easy way out and just succumb to a match made by those-who-know-better. 

Life, my loves, is so very-very bizarre. 

Na?

6 comments:

Lonely Perverted Soul said...

"Life, my loves, is so very-very bizarre. "

its so most definitely is.... Its sooo bizare and ironic...

jadedworld said...

every time you figure it out, it turns on its head... sigh!

hope you find something that satisfies both sense and emotions and bring you happiness!

DysfunctionaL said...

I know someone who recently got into an arranged marital commitment as u put it.. and like umm say 10 days down the road, they're so much in love, its actually kinda disgusting.. i dont understand though, can u fall in long lasting love in 10 days, or is it just the sensible person inside u trying to make peace with the situation..

life is definitely bizarre, and the people we meet, even more so.

Deepa said...

Those in the know say you can fall in love with the one you get into an arranged marital commitment with. But if you ask me, its just your brain saying, what the heck, might as well.

Life is super bizarre, and its easy to take the easy path. But good luck with the road less travelled upon, if you take it.

brok3n said...

This is why I dont plan to marry. And since adultary is haram, adoption seems to be the other possible way...o.o.....
life is bizzare. =/

Jagjit said...

Yes mam, totally agree with you. but these things, love and marriage and relationships in general, are not about logic or agreement. u can't pre-decide these things. u never know whats going to happens to you and what's best for you. life is bizazre is the best way to describe it. tc.