June 7, 2009
I am surprised, I think, by how much I miss you, despite confident assertions to the contrary. Transient relationships don't usually leave behind so much loneliness. Or maybe - maybe - I'm just lonely, and I just need to be held. And since you were the last person to hold me, those feelings transpose themselves on to your visage in my mind. To translate: Maybe this nagging sense of loss is just my mind playing tricks on me. Tricks trying to convince me that I have feelings too. Which I don't, ofcourse. Except late in the night, when I come across a picture - or two - of you unexpectedly, I think I do. But don't worry, my love, even if I'm coming face-to-face with potential emotions, it's almost certain that they won't find their way to you. As far as you're concerned our casual relationship has casually ended. Which is, naturally, exactly how it should be.