There are days when I honestly do feel like I wouldn't mind being a Malibu Barbie. Being brainless and beautiful (with oversize cleavage) would be an improvement, I sometimes feel, to the agonizing honor that goes hand-in-hand with being the your favorite Voodoo Doll.
And, not that I mean to critisize you (except, I do), those pins HURT! Just a little bit. Okay a lot. Also not that I think you're sadistic or anything (except, I do), but I think you may want to ease up on the 'regularly screw with' feature built into my weekly routine.
As much as I enjoy (vicariously through you ofcourse) your delight in the trials and tribulations of my life. I humbly invite you to to seek your entertainment elsewhere. Just for a little while.
Thank you very much in aticipation of your kind consideration.
Presently yours to torture at will,
Ps: For your amusement (because it seems I really do exist only for your amusement), I attach a recent picture.