March 23, 2009

i can survive this

because i have survived so-much-worse

that crying over this, crying over you

seems silly

(and i decide that

i will not dream-about-what-could-have-been

but wasn't).






i can survive this

because you barely knew me

but you judged me anyway

and that was so wrong

that i know that you are wrong

for me.






I can survive this

because i don't know you

(and though you made my heart-beat-faster

and dreams-came-alive-when you spoke

you were nothing but-the-kind-of-lie-brought-to-life

when cynical-optimists let themselves believe)

you won't be missed

because i cannot miss

what i never had.






i can survive this

because people like me

we smile, we laugh, and we make funny stories out of heartbreak

to amuse our friends

even while we die just-a-little-bit

inside.






i can survive this

because there is so much more

to live for, to long for, to dream of

than just you.







i can survive this

despite today, tonight, this instance

when i long to hear your voice

i long to dream the dreams i dreamed

when i-closed-my-eyes-and-thought

of you.







i can survive this

because even as i long for you

i know all i want is what could have been, had you been

the person i imagined you to be

(but you were not

and i know that i was just dreaming a disturbingly lucid kind of dream

and when i woke up

i was more alone than i have ever been

before).






i can survive this

because i have survived so-much-much-more

because i refuse to break

over something trivial

meaningless

fake

you.

2 comments:

Marina said...

Did you write this? I LOVE it. Absolutely amazing.

Xeb said...

:)

This one I wrote! :D